Parents Make Schedules Click

Parents find schedules essential
Date	April 03, 2013
Section(s)	Generations
Byline	By LINDSEY ADKISON The Brunswick News
Kimberly and Karl Burgess are like a lot of other young couples - they are busy people. Between their demanding jobs - she works as an admissions director at College of Coastal Georgia, and he is a program manager with the Georgia Department of Natural Resources - they can barely find a minute to breathe. Then there is Jackson, their 2-year-old. While their son obviously brings immeasurable joy to their lives, extra duties and responsibilities come along, too. Since Jackson was born, everything about the Burgesses' life changed, and they made sure it changed for the better. "Being an active parent is the most important part of my life," Kimberly Burgess said. "Although, I have a job that requires me to travel and work on occasional weekends, I take every opportunity to spend time with my child," she said. "I never want him to look back and wonder where his momma was when he was a child, and I never want to be at work when I could be with him." Even so, the Burgesses, like so many others, have found a way to make room in their jam-packed schedules for everything. The key for them is teamwork. "We make sure we alternate days on who picks Jackson up (from day care). For instance, I pick him up on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Fridays, which allows me to go to the gym on Mondays and Wednesdays. The same is true for my husband, who has his time to work out, relax at home, etc., on Tuesdays and Thursdays," Kimberly Burgess said. They also say that having understanding bosses at work helps, because another rule they have created is leaving work at work. This, she says, allows them to give their full attention to their son and to one another. "We don't bring work home. When we are home, we give 100 percent of our time to Jackson until he goes to bed, and then we have time for ourselves. Family time is time you never get back. We can always catch up on work," she said. "On the weekends, we plan for one of the days to be a 100 percent family fun day - we go to the park, beach or the playground." Making the transition from carefree coupledom to practical parenthood isn't easy. And like the Burgesses found, it takes patience, dedication and, perhaps, most of all, devotion to a schedule. "We spend the afternoons watching his favorite shows, eating dinner together, bath time, and then bedtime by 8 p.m.," Kimberly Burgess said. "It is at this time we have time to ourselves to clean, do housework, check emails, or just rest. (Jackson's) routine keeps us busy, but allows us to give 100 percent to him." Clearing time for children doesn't end when the little ones pass their toddler years. It continues throughout their lives, especially when the children are old enough to have interests of their own. For the Brewer Family, parenting for Chris and Debbie Brewer means that involvement and interest is the way to keep everyone close. Chris Brewer, a contractor, says it's the main way that he spends time with their 15-year-old daughter, Ashley. "The biggest challenge is juggling my work schedule, her dance schedule, homework and the regular day-to-day," the Brunswick dad said. "Ashley is a freshman at Glynn Academy and a dancer at Southern Strut Dance Studio. She starts practice for her dance season in the summer - dances three to four days per week, including weekends, until the first ballet in February, then transitions to (out of town) dance competitions until the end of spring ... ending with back-to-back recitals at the beginning of summer." To make sure that Ashley makes all of her practices and events, the Brewers enlist the help of other family members. "We, as parents, have to schedule our off time around her activities, as well as enlist help from her grandmothers, but she loves her dance and we love watching her," Chris Brewer said. Diana Walther, a Brunswick psychologist and a mother of five, says the Brewer Family's approach is right on track. "I believe that extracurricular activities are great for kids, in terms of building self-confidence and keeping them involved in positive activities while parents are at work. Of course, parents should make every effort to attend games, recitals, when children demonstrate the skills they are learning," she said. But parents are also learning along the way. Walther says that sitting down to map out priorities like house work and other chores can help moms and dads stay focused. "While housework is necessary, some things can be put off until later while parents spend time with the kids. It is so true that children grow up quickly, and I don't think parents will ever regret spending time with them," she said. Instead, Walther says, parents can get children involved in the house work. Divvying up duties can have double benefits for children - teaching responsibility while helping parents keep everything under control. While inclusion is important for children, finding adult time is equally critical. Walther says couples should take some guilt-free getaways to help maintain healthy relationships. "They will be happier and more effective parents if they take care of themselves, which includes taking some breaks from work and parenting in order to do something fun and relaxing," she said. "Working parents should not feel guilty for spending some time with each other or spending some time alone. This will help the whole family in the long run." * Lifestyle Editor Lindsey Adkison writes about lifestyle topics. Contact her at ladkison@thebrunswicknews.com, on Facebook or at 265-8320, ext. 316.